"Create whatever you want to create - and let it be stupendously imperfect, because it's
exceedingly likely that nobody will ever notice...And that's awesome."
I have taken a long break from writing. This past year has been one of the most (okay, maybe the most) life changing years I have experienced yet. Looking back, I wish I would have spent more of this past year writing and reflecting on things as they were happening, but I didn't. I started last year that way, but then I stopped.
It's almost like when something big happens in my life, I am scared to dig deep and really feel what is happening when it's happening. Instead, I look for mindless escapes like TV and social media so that I don't have to think too hard or feel too much. I can just busy my mind so that I don't worry as much (because let's face it, I always worry about something at least a little bit). This sad little strategy allows me the (un)fortunate ability to just pass time and get from Point A to Point B. This is not a very joyful approach to living life. In fact, it feels wasteful. Living life and truly living in the moment requires feeling and it requires attention...even when it hurts. But sometimes I get scared. Sometimes the fear and pain are just too much, and so checking out is what I need to do.
This post is not going to recap what happened this past year. I know I would not do the year justice by trying to summarize everything. Over time, I hope to share parts of my story, but that's not what today is about. Today is about simply jumping back in and writing something just to prove to myself that I can.
When you step away from something for so long, coming back to it can be intimidating. It can begin to feel like you need to make this "grand entrance" (or re-entrance) in order to prove to the world (but mostly to yourself because the world probably isn't paying that much attention to you anyway) that your absence can be justified because just look at what you created in your return!
But gosh, grand entrances are a lot of pressure, aren't they? So, as a gift to myself, I am going to remove all the pressure, and make my entrance back to this blog anything but grand. I am simply writing to write.
That's not to say that I didn't first give some thought about coming back to this space. I totally did. I have actually given careful thought about what I want to do here. I created The Happy Imperfectionist because I want my life to be filled with curiosity and joy. I want to try new things and have fun doing those things and to stop letting fear get in the way. I want the content of this blog to match its name. This is my space to play and explore and create. I am here because creating makes me happy and writing has always been my creative outlet (although my writing takes place mostly in my journal). So here I am, writing this imperfect post because it makes me happy.
Spring is just about here. It arrives today at 5:58pm Eastern Standard Time (to be exact). This is the season of creation and rebirth...when everything comes to life again. Most people talk about fresh starts and make resolutions on January 1 (when the calendar tells us that the new year has begun). Others feel like the new year actually begins when school starts. But Mother Nature shows us that the real fresh start and new beginnings happen during the season of spring. And even though spring officially begins this year on March 20 at 5:58pm (ET), we know that this doesn't mean this is when the grass will turn green or that the flowers and trees will automatically start blooming and blossoming. But we do know that when everything is ready - when these things have enough sunlight and warmth and water, then they will start to grow. And then, when everything comes to life again, it will feel like spring is here.
Spring seems like the perfect season for fresh starts. It is the perfect season in my life...the season of creation, growth, and if I'm lucky...beautiful flowers.
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